Thursday, December 27, 2007 Rant Archive
AVP-R is not so much a movie as a collage of gruesome death scenes. Normally this would be a bad thing—however the truth, in this particular case, is that gruesome death scenes are exactly what you’re paying to see. A lack of gruesome death scenes was exactly the sort of folly that marked the original AVP as a tragic case of missed opportunity. AVP-R begins just where the original AVP left off: with a Predator scout ship departing earth, their slain brother in tow. Just when all seems at peace again, a Predator/Alien hybrid pops out of the dead Predator’s chest...
Hey there LOST fans, I’m sure you’re as stoked as I am for our favorite TV mystery/sci-fi/drama’s return on January 31. To help prep you for your deep-dive back into the island’s (too) many mysteries, I thought I’d remind you that abc.com has been airing a series of LOST “mobisodes” online every
week since November.
Check 'em out and rant back and let us know what you think of the clips, and if you are (not) psyched for LOST’s long awaited return to the airwaves.
Before I even knew I would review this film I was hearing things left and right about it. Mostly, I continued to hear how absolutely amazing it is and how I would be impressed beyond all human comprehension. Due to this fact I continued to find myself telling people to shut up and stop tainting my brain with their incomprehensibly stupid opinions. This is something I am wont to do because I hate most everyone, and I believe it is this a contributing factor to the reason that this film absolutely turned me on.
First came OCEAN'S ELEVEN, which wasn't bad, but it was followed up by the horrid OCEAN'S TWELVE. Last, but certainly not least, came OCEAN’S THIRTEEN. As I was still retching from the sour taste of TWELVE, I spared myself a trip to the multiplex to see the flick this past summer. However, by the time the end credits rolled on my DVD copy, I could happily give the OCEAN’S team a solid thumbs-up for bringing the serious to an adequate conclusion, which I would place just a little bit under ELEVEN, but leagues above TWELVE.