By Sabrina Cognata

I guess this article should be subtitled:  HOW TO BE AWESOME WITH STYLE:  A GUIDE TO HATING EVERYTHING IN A FASHIONABLE WAY.  I know these things because I am from Los Angeles: home of the revolving door excellence in the subject of being constantly attractive while acting like a complete asshole.  So here’s the catch, I can’t find anything that I actually consider the best of 2007.  In fact the best thing about 2007 is this writer’s strike — hopefully it will lead to potential storylines that are not boring, contrived or absolutely obtuse. 

While I’m at it, just because a couple of movies stand out this year does not mean that I am going to waste my time calling them the best of 2007 when overall movies are complete and utter trash.  Although movies are the sucks they are generally in a better state than stupid television.  Oh my, I cannot tell you how excited I was about the fact that productions were getting shut down because at least I wouldn’t have to suffer through another lame sitcom that says it’s hilarious but really it’s suicide inducing. 

If I have to narrow down the worst of the worst, in television I am going with SAMANTHA WHO?  It’s more like Samantha, were the writers in a coma?  I can only hope that they were all chomping down on mescaline while writing because absolutely no part of that sitcom was funny.  Actually, now that I am thinking about it BIG SHOTS was also pretty terrible.  Actually, it was awful and every second I had to dedicate to watching it was like hearing a doctor tell me I was HIV positive.  The storyline sucked.  The jokes were boring.  The characters were type casted and manufactured.  And I would rather eat arsenic than ever sit though it ever again.  So would you.  DO NOT DISAGREE WITH ME.  Whatever.

Honestly, I did not see enough movies to hate just one, but since it’s not difficult enough to absolutely hate something I guess I will go back to Guy Ritchie’s flick REVOLVER.  Without a doubt it was the stupidest, lamest and most boring movie I have seen in a couple of years.  It’s total lack of flow, choppy storyline and bizarre messages end up making a lot of great actors (Ray Liotta) look like silly newcomers that have to do a lame movie for the exposure.  I don’t plan to waste more time than I need to pointing out that this movie was garbage because I’ve already done that once. 

In short, the current state of movies and television is abomination.  I am a know-it-all bitch without a heart and would prefer to watch reels of stranger’s home videos with the hopes of seeing something lurid before having to see another bad sitcom, stupid reality show or boring movie.  The end.