By Sabrina Cognata

Ugh, I hate Zach Braff.  Whose decision was it to make him the sexy nerd posterboy?  Whoever it was, I am out to kill them cause I have known a lot of sexy geek guys and he is absolutely not one of them.  Zach Braff is just another ugly guy that comes across and tortured, neurotic and not very good-looking, but in a charming way.  Dear casting directors, I hate you. 

This time around Zach Braff plays the same character he always does—the sort of silly nerd guy that is having problems in a relationship.  I guess that isn’t much of a stretch for him and hope he dies alone the way his type cast deserves to.  Braff plays Michael, an architect in an early mid-life crisis whom has to face growing up when his girlfriend, Jenna (Jacinda Barrett) tells him she’s pregnant.  The two attend a wedding after learning about the pregnancy where Michael pontificates over his boring, loser existence when Kim (Rachel Bilson) starts flirting with him. 

Michael wants to know if this is the end of life in terms of surprises as he’s about to become a father.  Kim goes out of her way to show her interest in Michael and because Michael is a man and an idiot he takes her advances seriously, even though he’s got a knocked up girlfriend waiting for him.  Before they part, Kim tells him where and when she hangs out after classes.  While all of everyone else in this film has their relationships deteriorate, Michael actively chooses to kill his when he makes a date with Kim.  Jenna catches him in the lie and flips out in a way that only pregnant women can and kicks him out of the house.  With nowhere to go, Michael heads back to Kim’s place where they do the horizontal mambo and Kim declares that she doesn’t care what happens just as long as they enjoy the moment. 


Kim is a liar.  Michael is caught.  Jenna freaks out and everything goes according to life’s plan as we see people have to work super hard to prove that a relationship can be saved if you really want to rescue it from death.  Jenna’s father (Tom Wilkinson) and her Mother (Blythe Danner) who happen to be having their own marital problems tell Michael to do whatever it takes to prove himself to Jenna. 

Apparently, doing whatever it takes means sitting outside of your locked house for an indeterminate amount of time.  After what appears to be a few days, Jenna forgives Michael for boning Kim and allows him inside the house.  I don’t know if you’ve caught on, but this movie is absolutely stupid because a lot of the time the other woman will end up doing something crazy and makes everyone sorry.  Rachel Bilson comes across as too needy and nice when she should have played it a little less sane and a little more Fatal Attraction.  Whatever.  I still hate Zach Braff, angry pregnant women and psychosexual dramas.