By Sabrina Cognata
Actually, I should probably call this list: Sabrina Cognata’s Most Anticipated Films of 2008 aka. HOT MEN IN HOTTER FILMS
A new year means newer and hopefully better films than ever before. EVER BEFORE! I mean, at least it should, especially to studios that have to keep people returning to theaters year-after-year to see what generally is the crap they regift to audiences worldwide. Even though I am sure most of this years up and coming films are going to be worthless, there are a few that I anticipate being diamonds gleaming within boundless heaps of trash. As I am wont to do, I have come up with an exhilarating list highlighting more of my extremely important decisions on what probably will be EXCELLENT CINEMA IN 2008. And if the movies are not excellent at least the men in them will be, right?
CLOVERFIELD – Honestly, I need to know what the hell is going on in this film. IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD? IS IT A MONSTER? DOES ROSIE O’DONNELL DOUBLE IN SIZE AND TAKE OUT NEW YORK TO GET BACK AT DONALD TRUMP? If this movie is lame and boring I will probably punch some people in the face.
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL – Is there anyone that isn’t excited about the fourth installment of this series? Oh man, when I was a kid I had the hugest crush on Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford). Too bad he is old and falling apart now and I guess I will have to spend my time crushing on that wayward Walgreens delinquent Shia Lebouf.
FUNNY GAMES – I knew I loved Michael Pitt when he played a psycho alongside Ryan Gosling in their breakout film Murd3r 8y Num8ers. I continue to love him in the trailer for FUNNY GAMES as he’s playing a sociopath that dares Tim Roth, Naomi Watts and their son to make it through the night. I mean, I seriously cannot wait to watch Pitt terrorize this innocent family cause I find myself super satisfied when I watch Naomi Watts praying all crazily to make it through the night. Awesome.
SPEED RACER – I watched this cartoon all the time when I was a kid so when I found out that the Wachowski siblings (I am not really sure if I should call them the Wachowski Brothers anymore since one of them is all into his gender identity change) are directing the live action film I immediately knew I had to see it. Then I found out they cast Emile Hirsch as Speed and then I started swooning. I think that kid can do no wrong. Then I saw the trailer and was like THIS IS GOING TO BE THE COOLEST LOOKING FILM ALL YEAR. Seriously, it looks that awesome.
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN – Ok, so maybe this list should be called MOVIES I WANT TO SEE WITH SORT OF COOL TRAILERS AND WICKED HOT GUYS IN THEM. This movie is based on a Clive Barker novel and we know how well those sorts of books get butchered by the time they arrive in theaters, but honestly Bradley Cooper is so cute that I doubt he can do any wrong, really. The trailer is sort of awesome and basically Cooper is a photographer that goes on the hunt for a serial killer he accidentally photographs during a kill. SEXY.
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTONS – This is one of my favorite F. Scott Fitzgerald short stories of all time so I cannot wait to see how studio execs have chosen to butcher it. And along with that they have Brad Pitt, my one true love, playing Benjamin Buttons. This is the story of a baby born an elderly man and how he goes through life slowly getting younger until, well, you know. Anyways, I haven’t even seen a trailer for it, but I followed the making of it throughout it’s filming and now I am lying around waiting to tell everyone that it is a total piece of crap.
IRON MAN – The trailer for this film makes it endlessly cool. Robert Downey Jr. ingesting as many drugs as he has is endlessly cool. Iron Man has always been endlessly cool. I guess this means that I will watch this movie with the impending feeling of being endlessly cool while Robert Downey Jr. saves the world as Iron Man and I am elated as hell.
BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT – Listen, the Joker is not the character created by Jack Nicolson. I know this is really going to be a lot for some people to deal with, but the Joker is a crazy badass and I am really looking forward to Heath Ledger’s interpretation because in the trailer he looks totally awesome, and it is even more tragic now given his sad and tragic recent death. And it goes without saying that Christian Bale is pretty much the hottest batman to date, but I mean, he’s Christian Bale and incredibly hot murdering people as Patrick Batemen so why wouldn’t he be seethingly sexy as batman?