By Kofi Outlaw

…As the world moves one step closer to the Apocalypse.

The pop-culture spoof MEET THE SPARTANS proved this week that America’s collective I.Q. continues to plummet, as the Britney-slaying Spartans managed to ‘stomp the yard’ all the way to the top of the weekend box office, grossing $18.7 million along the way.

SPARTANS’ victory ambushed RAMBO’S hopes for glory; the Sylvester Stallone action flick came in at no. 2, grossing $18.2 million. While it was torn apart by critics, audience response to RAMBO was unexpectedly positive; the film earned a score of 9.1 out of 10 amongst users on Metacritic—a higher score than current Oscar-contender, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.

Rounding out the top five this week was 27 DRESSES at no. 3 ($13.6 M); CLOVERFIELD at no. 4 with $12.7 million—a shocking 68% decline from its record setting opening weekend; and Web killer-thriller UNTRACEABLE at no. 5, with a modest take of $11.2 M, despite a sound thrashing from both critics and audiences alike.