Movie Rants
Rants about Feature Films in Current Release
I guess the quickest way to sum up this movie is from something I overheard while in the theater. This guy leans over and looks at this friend after his friend spits his drink all over himself from laughing and says, “This might be the funniest movie of all time.” Although I think that is stretching it, I will agree that STRANGE WILDERNESS is over-the-top hilarity every moment of the film.
THE EYE is the latest Japanese horror film given a glossy American makeover. It’s not the best of the bunch (THE RING), it’s not the worst of the bunch (ONE MISSED CALL), but is it worth a ten dollar movie ticket? I’ll let you be the judge.
I really want to like this movie. I want to be able to say that it was so hilarious that I died on the spot because I could not catch my breath. I want to sing this movies praises and brag about the fact that it was the box office king last weekend for a reason and even though I have all the desire in the world to say that it’s awesome, I can’t because it sucks.
THE AIR I BREATHE received scathing reviews following its premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival last year. It seemed almost as though the critical establishment had a grudge against Jieho Lee, the young Korean-American director and screenwriter making his directorial debut. So I wasn’t expecting much and, frankly, was even tempted to skip the screening I’d been invited to. Luckily I didn’t, because the film is an unexpected surprise.
The most surprising thing about RAMBO is that it isn’t the shoe-in for the 2008 Razzie Award like a lot of us thought it would be. The fourth installment of the “First Blood” franchise is actually a pretty faithful throwback to the “man-movie” action flicks of the 80’s and early 90’s, such over-the-top testosterone romps like DIE HARD, or LETHAL WEAPON, which would never play in our modern, femme-powered culture.
UNTRACEABLE isn’t some masterpiece of thrilling cinema—it’s a been-there, seen-that type of thriller. But it does a decent job of exposing the very realistic, very scary possibilities of the Internet. Most of us can’t function without the Internet—it’s in our homes, our businesses and our cars. Naturally, a movie about an Internet killer would scare the crap out of a good bit of people, even though the story that surrounds it is rather predictable.
Films that are pure camp flounder when they take themselves too seriously. Films that try to delve into dark and sordid territory with a wink and a smile, often risk falling off the tightrope that is black comedy. TEETH—the story of a young girl with the fearsome anatomical mutation of “vagina denta”—is a movie which never pretends to be any less ridiculous than its laughable premise. And that is what makes it so darn enjoyable.
I bet you will not be surprised when I admit that I hate this movie in ways that can only be described with forms of genital torture. Here is the thing that you will never predict: the part where Jane (Katherine Heigl) and Kevin (James Marsden) fall in love while getting drunk, singing Benny and the Jets and dancing on a bar is my idea of perfection. So I guess the movie isn’t all bad, just mostly bad with a side of terrible romantic comedy.
If you’re going to see CLOVERFIELD because you’re looking for an in-depth character study or some sort of psychological thriller about an unknown creature or even some version of LOST in Manhattan, please move on. This movie is not for you. If you’re looking for an exciting, gripping, realistic (well, as realistic as it can be) monster movie, then go right ahead and buy that ticket.
Let me start by saying that FIRST SUNDAY is but another victim of bad advertising — though in this case I wouldn’t necessarily blame the marketing dept. for dropping the ball. The laugh-out-loud movie the trailers promised never shows up, and what we’re left with is a religious-themed morality tale, that actually has a bit of heart.