TV Rants
Rants on the Current Season of TV Shows
Apparently Atlanta hatches stars like Britney Spears hatches fetal alcohol syndrome children, I know this because Ryan Seacrest knows this. First of all, we get to meet stupid Ryan’s parents. Guess what, I could have lived the rest of my life without having to waste time on getting to know them. Once that is out of the way, Ryan introduces us to Joshua. He works with glass and I am not sure if I care about any of this. He tells the judges that he’s going to show them something they’ve never seen before.
John Connor’s Terminator-bodyguard Cameron learned that Cromartie, the terminator missioned with assassinating John, had followed them through the time-portal into the future. Sarah’s first instinct was to run, however John had another idea: turn the tables by hunting the hunter.
It’s been two weeks, and Fox spent a lot of money during the Superbowl to advertise the escape that was supposed to happen tonight on PRISON BREAK. Well, I waited an hour just to get a bunch of men huddled in a dirt tunnel waiting for some lights to go out. Oh well, at least I finally got a good episode out of it.
I died a little on the inside when FOX cancelled ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. I mean, buying the box set of the series is a nice consolation prize, but after a while you can act out your Job fantasies so much until you turn into a psycho-loser. Not that I have any Gob Bluth (Will Arnett) fantasies or anything. My problems might be mended sooner than I ever envisioned, Jason Batemen has told E! that he’s spoken to creators of the show (Mitch Hurwitz and Ron Howard) and is willing to be a part of the ensemble cast in an ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT movie.
Anyone who actually paid money to see the movie WISEGIRLS has probably wanted to see a hole drilled in Mira Sorvino’s head for years. Tonight, it happens on HOUSE M.D. She plays a psychiatrist on an Antarctic power station- the lone doctor, and when one of the workers gets wounded by a wild turbine blade, she swoops in, pours glue on the severed femoral artery and wraps up the gash with duct tape. MacGuyver with curves and an Oscar…Grr.
Here’s Eli (Johnny Lee Miller). He’s an attorney in San Francisco and a complete yuppie asshole. We meet him as he’s climbing a mountain in Tibet and telling us he might be a prophet. Next, we join Eli in a flash forward to his boring life where he keeps hearing the music of George Michael. He keeps hearing the music and stopping everyone around him to ask what the hell the song is. First he does this in a work meeting and then later, when he’s having sex and he has to stop it because he hears the music again. He wanders into his living room where he sees George Michael singing his hit Faith. Then he passes out.
Dr. Paul Weston (Gabriel Byrne) is fed up with some of the self-absorbed people he’s treating – so he’s decided to become one of them. IN TREATMENT comes full circle. At the end of the last episode Paul left a message for Gina (Dianne Wiest), who, it turns out, was his mentor and therapist when he first started out in the field. But about 10 years ago, they disagreed. It’s not yet clear what was involved. But whatever it was their differences were so great Paul did not even attend Gina’s husband’s funeral. He didn’t believe it appropriate.
In a week that thus far has been filled with unattractive patients, Jake and Amy hit a new low. He is angry, insecure, rude and surly. She is a manipulative liar. And they’re married. Now IN TREATMENT really gets interesting.
Last time we visited with Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) they played Christmas massacre with two Christmas warlocks that needed to feed back from yesteryear. This time we’re confronted with this cute African-American lady that comes back from a dinner with her beau and she goes into the bathroom. While she starts brushing her teeth there is a cut to another woman doing some sort of satanic ritual by slicing her hand and pouring her blood on the woman’s toothbrush. Suddenly, the woman’s teeth begin falling out of her head.
Tonight was the season four premiere of LOST. This was, by far, the most anticipated premiere of the year for me. And now, I have a boatload (pun intended) of questions. But first, a quick summary for all the forgetful viewers out there.
Read the synopsis of last year's finale, plus tonight's full summary inside. LOST is finally back!